2005-08-13 - 12:41 a.m.
ok i think im back.

2005-03-01 - 12:40 p.m.
results are finally out.
congrats nick , mh , clement , yiyang , kwong ee and the others ive missed. wow its really a big feat you all have achieved and for that renders a standing ovation.

yup, i got six points. but when i saw the b3 for lit , i was rather taken aback. haha... and poor nick you had to be the one to witness me breaking down in front of ms ng. haha... dun knoe what got into me la... but the converstation with ms ng just "hit the button" and tears started flowing down, mechanically. haha. and then i was breathing so hard i was literally choking on my tears. screw it la. nvr broke down so badly before but still i did. i guess thats what distinguishes us as humans , with human emotions.sheez.. thank god onli nick saw it . i would have to "burrow-strike" and "epicentre" myself to death if the whole class saw it. yikes. haha.. but then of course my red eyes were noticed by a few and luckily i din break down again. PHEW!

okaes, i must say i really feel blessed with the six. really... my six sub (not includin normal chi) all fitted into the L1R5 criteria perfectly. haha. unbelievable. but ya... i think im just lucky la... unlike some others. my heart really reaches out to y'all k. especially for kian chi and kwek. no worries ya ? there's always a path for every outcome so its not the end. take things with stride and composure and nothing would come in your way.

haiz. was supposed to dota last night, but was just mentally and emotionally drained that i just feel asleep after bathing. haha. sorry nick. another time i guess.

singpass registration is really pissing everyone off. the server is perpetually jammed and so PPL ... dun WAIT ANIMore go get it done asap. i had the lady trying for me 4 times before mine was done. haiz. so ya... dun sit on it animore.

tired. that's all. cya round guys.

2005-02-10 - 11:30 p.m.
as requested by tons of ppl , i've decided to blog to show that i care about the world and i want them to know about my private life, hence the international broadcast:

"This is the Singapore telecom announcement service, the number you just called is not in use . thank you.and fuck off."

This message is solely dedicated to a particular person which i deem most weird, peculiar and MOST MOST MOST egoistic. yeah.. that's the word. as of such , our channels/matrix/signals..
dont connect and hence , pls don't talk to me again. or else i will make sure you shall never talk again.

okaes, so much for orientation , training, my CT in huachong, and blah blah blah. seriously, everyting has been quite boring. thanks to adora, cai , chris , chi and mad... they add little bits and pieces of spice into the otherwise very monotonous hc lifestyle which turns ppl like me off very easily. hence, the mood swings, the attitude face.

oh yah before i forget ... there is a another person i would like to dedicate the above message to . ya.. you knoe who you are. so again... FUCK OFF, go away... whereever you want to go . your crude mannerisms just tell ppl how much of a bitch you are... and how your mother has brought you up. obviously you lack politeness, determination , endurance , kindness and most importantly reprocrity. in sight of this , i reccommend you a cure : kick the bucket.

okaes... back to wad i was saying. yup... oh ya... thanks koon and kwek too for continuing to keep in touch .. haha. koon's life is getting interesting i see.. haha...but at least he still tells me about it and treats me as the still-close soulmate that we developed into , sharing secrets and everything despite the emotional rollercoster in sec 2. and of course ... kwek with his new "best" friend. haha.. how can i ever forget? oh btw.. happy bd again kwek... and to koon... happy early bd. i promise i will buy u a prezzie.. and pass it to you somehow.

okaes. got caught for ponning lit lecture that day. obviously it was a case of wrong timing, cos the ct rep, ass.ct rep , lit rep , gp rep( thats me =)) , chin yuen , pei yann , chris and alison were all not around . of course , anione with average intellect would knoe that there is something fishy going on. and so i had to go see mr ausgustine wong in the morning. haha.. he was really nice though. din punish us or anithing.. just told us that he expected to see us the next lecture/tutorial.

went for stj yesterday. quite fun. and of course, uptil now i still dun knoe who is my angel.. can't really figure out who although i suspect is someone. but still not v.sure. but to firestone.. i think you rock. thanks for all the gifts and of course same to my two other angels and two mortals. love y'all.

okaes.V'day is coming but can't spend it the way i want it to. =( if only i dared to pluck up some courage . but nvm.. maybe it wasnt even meant to be.

yikes. been hearing lotsa bitchy and bastardy stuff going on. gucci. okaes.. thats the only clue. come ask me if you want to knoe more. hehe..i will be glad to share.

okaes.. enough said. tired.. going to r and r now. ciao.

PS: sorry bran , el and mum. cant debate on mon cos of very bad sore throat. will try my best to participate in the case setting.

yours fuckingly,
nigel

-

2004-12-25 - 5:29 p.m.
Masquerade

Faces , family and friends.
They all share something in common
More than the letter
More than the vowels
Something
More.

My jaded perspective raises brows.
Some sigh when I reiterate.
Others simply couldn’t care less.
Yet beyond the pessimism
Lies a fact .
Truth.

I’m worried what I’m about to say may
Reap repercussions.
But keeping it all in reaps worse.
I’ve decided to be truthful for once,
At the very least , to
Myself.

A thousand faces of different lives
Bound by a common set of feelings , emotions , interests and faith.
But those are the very culprits which deceive the heart.
The fragile , vulnerable and weak wouldn’t last long.
Some just cringe, cripple and collapse.
Others cheat themselves further by staying aloof.
Yet those with true friends confide in friends.
And then feel, perhaps , for a moment,
That reality isn’t just a matrix.

Friends , non-identical in their own special way.
Many funny, fun-loving, fortunate and nice.
Yes, “many” is the word. Not “all”.
‘cos friends aren’t always friends.
Even when you are DAMN sure they are your closest.
Even to the point of being a kin.
What mum said was true.
Friends never make a kin. Blood thicker than water.
Friends?
Ephemeral images.

A masquerade never lacks pretense.
A family never lacks love.
Perhaps friends are the in-betweens.
The transitions.
Neither family nor mask.
Never caring , close enough.
You probably think I’m going nuts.
But once numbed by this experience called life,
My story may make sense to you afterall.

So peace out y’all , on this beautiful day.
On this wonderful Christmas Masquerade.

2004-12-23 - 10:15 p.m.
came back from chalet.
am in very bad mood now. realised i have fucked up parents who are literally screwing up my life every day , every minute and every second.

MUM : " i wont wait for you ... you want to go or not... its up to you."

DAD :" quickly go to slp, tmr have to get up earli" x100000000000000

BROTHER.(enough said)

okaes.. due to my current state of mind, this shall be the shortest entry ive ever made.

koon... i wish i was the one who saw the wishing star that night.

nick, thanks for yer chocs from saltzberg. it was really rich and gd. for a moment it brought back some really sweet memories. haha... din knoe that it was from you until i woke up the this morning. oh god.

To god : i need you.

nigel

2004-12-16 - 11:02 p.m.
back from malaysia.
this time round , the trip wasnt as fun as i thought it would have largely due to wet mist up in genting and all the freaking rides were close. and so no more rocketting into the sky at night , no more roller-coasting through the clouds. yea... none of that. only plain old stupid boring arcade. got come clothes... but nonetheless, spice-less.

at malacca, i finally realised that seriously , the stupidest houseflies come from there. was at this teochew restaurant with onli exactly 8 tables, and we were having dinner , quite peacefully , when houseflies started to infect the area... and one stupid and fat one flew straight into my mum's tea , swirled in it for a couple of sec and then died. seriously , i swore i could have burst out laughing at that moment , but then yet again , my mum was disgusted at the entire scene and so i just zipped. NO FUN. i should have just let my emotions rip out naturally. restrain. yeah... all i felt this time round on the trip was restrain. nothing else.

okaes... so im back in singapore. yesterday went for some relative's relative's relative's wedding.( as you can see , the relationship isnt really that close. ) OF COURSE, i did not knoe who the bride and groom was until the night itself. the wedding and solemnisation were held at pan pacific. and hence, on this wonderful occasion , i would like to take this opportunity to declare that the service at pan pacific ... SUCKS BIG TIME. ok,let me reiterate the entire thing, that is ... to my displeasure of course.

1) the fucktard mud waiter seriously came from some "special" school. my orange juice never came and for that i blasted at him and guess what he said . " IM SORRY , WE HAVE OTHER GUESTS TO ENTERTAIN". OK , let me entertain you with a punch , HOW about THAT?

2) THE same old FUCKtard waiter decided to give everyone, on the same table as me, plates except myself. and so i called for it ... and guess what(again). he replied in an attitude worse than the first. i swore i would have kicked him out of his ugly suit if not for my mum.

3) and then ... THE SAME OLD FUCKING idiot decided to spill soup on my jeans. HELLO... JEALOUS AR? HOW ABOUT I "TREAT" YOU TO A WHOLE BOWL OF SOUP.in that way i would certainly be entertained.

there you have it, so to all you ppl out there... other than for the nice lift that goes way up high ... NEVER visit pan pacific unless you've lost yer marbles. (*even if you have , still dun go there)

haiz... i just watched OC season finale. OMG... PAINFUL PAINFUL ending. tears were welling already and luckily i managed to hold it back. THERESA is a bitch/cheese. ( to mong & chris you would knoe this one , to the rest... im just losing it). dunnoe why im so affected by it... maybe its just cos i love the show too much and wished that it would end nicely. heart-ripping.

ok... i guessed thats enough for one entry... have training tmr... hope i dun puke.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz im faling asleep.

nigel

2004-11-27 - 10:04 p.m.
my life is potentially on the verge of ending. seriously i mean it.

i MISSED the PAE. ok ... i knoe you are shocked and up till this moment, so am I.

i dun knoe what got into me larhz, but the entire PAE just slipped my mind and worse still i wasnt feeling well and so i took some medicine and went into deep slp due to effect of medicine. and by the time i woke up it was 6pm. and there you have it, my life is so screwed now and i got news that MOE doesnt entertain mentally retarded idiots like me and like-wise the school. the only thing i have/can do now is to go to HCJC and appeal. I seriously hope that MR. ANG will let me in, cos i really really do not wish to end up in some CI for that mattter. THAT WILL LITERALY SPELL MY END.

but in times of need, you see light. or at least a shimmer from only two source : family and TRUE friends.
Thanks chris , yong liang and nick. and especially to yongliang. thanks for all the advice and all the encouragement. i needed it a lot . and thanks for offering to accompany me to see the principal too. i really din think i would have pulled through this without you guys. i guess life is potentially screwed for me now. but nevertheless, even if i really dun get into HC for the first three months, i've only got myself to blame. but still , i would be comforted to knoe that i had friends.

signing off,
the biggest dumbass in the universe

2004-11-18 - 1:43 p.m.
the end is near.

its always nice to think that once the Os end , everything will all work out fine and we will start having lives again and not be feeling like a jammed intestine full of brown effluence. ok i din say that :x

for me , ive been constantly thinking about what would happen after the Os ( and studying at the same time ... of course im the quint-essential good boy yar? studying my stuff and doing my work... and not thinking about bitchy stuff and having a BIG BF ). ok id better explain myself before ppl start thinking im an undesirable. ( ya .. the group under afro-germans in history tb page 120 =p)

THIS I LEARNT FROM WHITE CHICKS , SERIOUSLY BITCHY AND FUNNY SHOW.

BF --> BITCH FIT
This psychosomatic syndrome arises when one experiences a serious adrenaline rush due to undesired happenings , which literally spark of the BITCH button . Victim begins spouting seriously caustic remarks which often burn the skin ( yeah mong.... sssssssssssssss.... HOT...). people surrounding a person having bitch fits should make himself scarce in the shorted possible time to dodge these attacks on mind, body and soul.

There you have it. bitch fits which are common occurences in the household are actually proven to help one de-stress and they often occur when you least expect it.

exams are nearing the end. and its just tomorrow. freedom. liberty. empowerment. strength. i can almost taste it in the air... haha. but i think exams also mark the imminent end to our sec 4 lives and all the best friends , team mates, buddies and everyone else in school. memories contained in a bottle and never forgotten.

okaes. that's enough of my bitching around already larhz... and i got to say i feel great now that the exams are over soon and i can go back to training and go to the movies, buy stuff, sleep-overs etc. fun never ends.

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genesis; its only the beginning.

PS: Orchard here i come.

2004-11-03 - 3:19 p.m.
haha... im having my Os and i still have time to blog... why ?

because im borned a slacker . haha... its obvious enough right... aiyar... 5 papers gone ... 13 more to go... and so i must hang on... the end is near... yet so so so far fetched. arghz... if only i had a time turner.

anw Os have been really quite alright. the topics this year have been kinda weird... prawns for bio prac, screwed solns for chem prac , decontextualised sbq for SS for the 2nd consecutive year. haha...i guess you really can't base anything on presages. things always happen when you dont want them to.

ok... I have had enough.... my brother has been really irritating these few days and i swear to god i could have slit his throat several times already... but because me being the most caring and LOVING brother in the universe would certainly not do that.
PS: i did other things =)

okaes, time's up for bloggin. gotta plunge into books again. cya guys around and stay happy kaes?

PS again : trust me... moods do affect exams in ways you never could think of.

smile,
nigel

2004-10-06 - 9:20 p.m.
declaration : this site is now awoken from its slumber and lives.

harlow, yeap its been ages since i've blogged and gone into diaryland , and even going online for that matter.

skimming through my previous entries and simply musing over the childish entries. i was like ... oh god just kill me.

but nevertheless i survived the prelims. literally. though i know i could have done better. but still i did reach my goal of getting into HC and so im satisfied.

recently, i feel so damn tired and have concluded that there can only be two reasons :

1) THE SWELTERING HEATWAVE THAT SOMEWHAT PENETRATED INTO SINGAPORE SHORES AND LITERALLY DRYING ME UP.

2) SLEEPLESS NIGHTS.

I'm feeling a bit weird right now , all uneasy and stuff. i guess its the heat. there can only be the heat. nothing else. be gone with it.

there's someone at the door , some stupid saleswoman, and she is persistently ringing our doorbell and so i am ignoring her totally. bloody hell, be gone.

okaes, im gonna bathe right now and shut myself in the room like i do not know anithing.

bye bye.

2004-08-13 - 7:44 p.m.
over-reacted , confided , cleared.

that's the most impt thing about the previous entry , and hence i apologise to all of you guys . really , im just such a green-eyed idiot. sorry.

COMMON TESTS ARE NOT NICE. EXTREMITIES.

this is what i mean:

CHEM----- A1 ( but its barely)

Physics -- A1 ( also barely)

A-maths -- D7 ( hahahahaha)

E-maths -- F9 ( proud of it :) )

BIO --- ( imminent F9 )

get it now ? yeah . life is always so screwed and i guess its really about time that sit down , pull myself from slumber and just work towards my goal man. guess I've really gotta set up a time table cos' as all knoes , im such as ass and will never do things that i set out to do unless of course i see something that is tangible for me to heed to. yar , so ... last resorts now. also "employing" my always so kind maid : mong to help me in maths . seriously i need some guidance and really hope that things will turn out better for me.... maths-wise.

renewed resolution. yeap. there's no stopping now. ( haha... sound like some super hero)

aiyah , too bored to write anithing else liao larhz. and tired. shitz... have to do english compre which i totally dun feel like touching.

arghz... god give me power and might.

i desperately need it now.

nigel

2004-08-10 - 11:35 a.m.
i hate you. all of you. i just hate all of you. ALL.

LEAVING

me.

aloNE.

FUCK YOU . iTS noT tHe fiRsT tiMe .

NOW I TRULY KNOE WHERE I BELONG. and ITS NOT WITH YOU GUYS.

im turnIng SOlitAry noW Cos encapSUleD in FIelDing WIthOut the FielDinG pErSonaLity. ---Yearns---

dead sad.

2004-08-09 - 6:19 p.m.
yesterday is like so cool but then i realised that after yesterday , my 2 weeks of savings were like busted . haha... but who care's , i can always start all over again ya? yet again emphasizing the meagre amount i get every week :P

okaes. met wei en on sun ... haha... near cine there... was intending to watch house of flying daggers ( WHICH IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE LAMEST AND STUPIDEST SHOWS ONE EARTH , AND hence if you havent watched it yet ... DON'T. YOU WILL JUST DROP DEAD AFTER IT). ARGH... wei en you were right lorhz... should have just listened to your advice and move on ... save my 8.50...not that i am so scringy and stuff but rather its not money well-spent you knoe what i mean right ?

anw , after the show went to zhan's house for his farewell party. haiz... this senior of mine is leaving for US to study... for about 4 years i guess. haiz... so the entire polo squad held a secret farewell party for him of which he did not even knoe... at HIS HOUSE!!! haha... how cool is that man...

and ya... so willis kep sam me and gab were like walking and walking towards his house...and then zeng gave me a call and told me to stop in my tracks cos there is a very high possibility of us bumping into zhan and letting the cat out of the bag . so we like stoned for about 15 min before continueing and then when were just stepped into the house... we heard loud screamings and shoutings at the attic and only to realise that everyone up there was already starting to bond Zhan. and it was like so super sadistic... let me explain :

TOOLS USED :

1) menthol ( ok... i see evil grins...)

2) shaver ( shant elaborate )

3) white pole

4) hair gel

5) mosturizer gel

6) thermometer

7) others

aiyar... in short they brutalised him. haha... not sure whether the word brutalise even exists but you get what i mean. haha... and the worst part right... his gf was there lorhz... and then the guys were like doing all the stuff to him and his gf was like... cringing in agony ... haha... it was a total comic scene manz ( not that i derive any sadistic pleasure from it wadsoever...)

okaes...and so after that we had dinner ... in which the food was fantastic and particularly the dessert. haha... just loved honey dew sago ... its just so .... arhz... i dunnow the words to describe it.

after which we all sat down in a group and started watching the HCJC VS acjc final match again ( please note the deliberate infantalising of acjc , thank you very much :)).

yar... it was just exhilirating to re-watch it again on tape. and as usual diyan was shen... and so was benji and everyone else there. kinda cool manz... i'd sure hope we will witness such a glorious moment for polo next year.

so it was getting late and we all bade our farewells to zhan, shaking his hand and offering our best wishes , and then we left. haiz... so that was about it... but i'd sure have fun and it was definitely memorable for zhan larz... in my opinion. haha... okaes... gtg eat now.. and to everyone out there...

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY !!!!!

( thanks for the holidays...)

nigel

2004-08-03 - 4:11 p.m.
yeah! no more heavy heavy humanities subjects to memorise liao. just finished the common tests for all of them today and i am so happy about it.

tmr's biology and higher chinese ct. darn... guess im probably going to dao chinese and just focus on bio. yeap.

Anw , sth really funny happened last night. my brother was sleep-walking and he went into my parents' room and stood there , dropped his pants in front of my parents' wedding photo and NEARLY pee-ed on it. HAHAHA. omg... hilarious manz , i was like 00 and o0.

mum freaked out and screamed at him and thank god my brother held back his pee. haha.... however the funniest thing was that he said :

" OOps. sorry i forgot ."--> no link.

and as expected he din even knoe what i was talking about today when i mentioned the whole matter to him. haiz... this brother of mine is really stressed manz , haha... sleep-walking to such an extent. but still i hate him to the core cos of his callous attitude to my parents and the way he screams at my mum. "contemplative idiot" and "overweening rogue".

Anw , i have decided to let go and always observe at least 2 hours of REGENERATION OF BRAIN CELLS before i start work again . and to do so , i must blog .... watch tv.... listen to music ... eat.... play tennis... and just slack around . yes , thats most effective i got to say.

arhz... sick and tired of common tests already and so i have decided that i will just put full concentration of getting my a1 for a maths and e maths and that itself will boost my confidence liao. for the others , i will just do what i can and just pray for the best.haha... sounds kinda pessimistic huh ? nope. I ALRGHT.

am wishing for ZEN x creative mp3 now. hope my parents will buy for me after Os cos i really need a new music player cos discman is screwed beyond all repair . AN I-POD will of course be preferred but i will just make do with the zen x for now.

okaes... thats about it liao and like i have said earlier. strive for 10 points for ct and thats the short-term goal. long-terms goals.... erms.... HCJC? haha.. okaes. gtg liao. cya.

nigel

2004-07-30 - 7:17 p.m.
FLU-ED UP DAY.

sorry guys , today all that sniffing , sneezing and expectorating were all by me and thus i seek your forgiveness for being so highly unhygenic. was totally grossed out with myself too , all that mucus and stuff. urghz... need a new nose.

haiz , canoeing did not win double champs but what can i say , they did their best yar? haha... jia you next year kaes?

darn , tmr's is SS and EF common test. decided to just cover 4 focus 1 topics and dao the rest. but thank god i have regained my confidence in myself and will strive hard to earn the 10 points in common test and then 6 in prelims , and then get into the humanities programme and then work hard and land myself a decent future. yarps , thought hard about it and thanks to nicky , i have found my own self reassurance again. thanks nic , appreciated it a lot.

anw , am going to continue with my ss already . and here's another poem i made to sooth the mind , and perhaps offer a more positive perspective to life ( than the previous poem).

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footprints

dust kicks up swirling in mid-air ,

hovering,

and then settles unhurriedly

back to base.

a hard print unravels amidst the sand,

as crystal,

leaving behind that familiar trace

that was here before.

scanning across the horizon,

bathing in the sun's rays of warmth,

my heart raced like it had before,

almost as if ,

it was the first time i saw the sun.

with pride and glamour, the sun makes his glorious exit.

as I glance upon the arrival of nightfall.

yet , deep down inside ,

my heart still relish with much desire

for the sun in me never will

set.

nigel

2004-07-27 - 7:49 p.m.
was LIT LIT LIT LIT LIT LIT LIT LIT LIT LIT all the way .

now......

ITS DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.

(repetition brings about an enforced effect on my present mood and feelings)

DESERT PLACES ---------- ROBERT FROST

FROST....shocked that the poem was by him. and read an analysis on the net and all this talk about obliteration and blah. deduced that the source was unreliable and hence fallacious. couldnt get the crux of everthing that was said , perhaps it was just too chim for me.

LIT COMMON TEST ---> 2nd question of KOC passage based ----> TOTAL SCREW-UP.

--- LACKING QUOTES

--- LACKING PROPER ANALYSIS

--- LACKING ORGANISATION

--- NO PROPER INTRO

--- NO PROPER CONCLUSION

as seen above , i deduce its going to be either a 12 or 13 / 25. which effectively means that i scrwed the whole thing up.

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TIME-MANAGEMENT.

STAYING FOCUSED.

NEVER DOING PASSAGE-BASED AGAIN.

DON'T FLUSTER and BLACK OUT.

ANSWER THE QUESTION.

MOST IMPTLY , DON't ((( PaNiC ))).

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i will get over it by tonight.

but for now, its depression.

thank you for being my friend.

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ME

beating of the stillwater heart,

breaks the silence.

fragile silence.

soft silence.

silence.

Under the silence Reality emerges,

shatters the confidence.

imagined confidence.

sharp confidence.

confidence.

I lie alone in the middle of the field,

can no longer taste the air,

nor feel the breeze.

hardened by

Fate.

walk the walk , and talk the talk.

yet on turning back

peeking back,

life

has now taken

a total different shade

which jades the perception of life

in

Me.

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a short poem i wrote given some thought into it. decided that the uncertainties of life is what compounds me. to friends out there, do not take life for granted lest it turns stale and decays away.

--> carpe diem (cliched)

wallowing in maudlin often chains you down. breaking out of it sets you apart.

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im breaking out of depression from the Lit common test. you should too.

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nigel

2004-07-14 - 8:03 p.m.

Ive gotta say this , Chris , yer blog is scaring me. really , it just gives me the shudders . Don't ever lose hope kaes? I bet my marks aren't getting any better , especially so for Amaths , but what it really matters , ultimately is still the Os , so dun give up kaes? even if all else fails, youve still got REAL friends around , so even if faith turns his back on you , remember... pals are everywhere , unless of course , you dun consider us as one .. then.. erms... let loose on computer games ? CS? haha... but still , the point is , dun give up , you cant , at this point in time , or else all effort put in will be flushed down the drain. yar... you get what i mean.

anw , had chem test today. last q so tricky , and of course , being the ever so gullible and no-brainer me , i fell into the trap and got 4 marks flying away. haha... stupid brackets, hate them for life. but at least, i WILL never make the same mistake again.

haiz, got back math and history test today. math ... terrible... 11/20. pathetic , but was kinda expected larhz , started panicking in the middle of the paper and from then on , everything just went off tangent , resulting in off course the barely passing mark.

history , 20/25 , still ok larhz. but both my L5s were rejected by chan and so got to refocus on L5 again.

so thats about it today , and discman spoilt liao. damn... miss my cds. and my blardy brother... scolded him for being rude to mom and guess what he said : " WHO DO YOU TINK YOU ARE ? " . blardy hell , really made me blow my top lorhz. he is ever to fubared up there , and maybe cos he is going into adolescence stage that he is starting to GROW up , and having his own ideas. "HARLOE ,,, YOUR ELDER BROTHER SPEAKING HERE!!! I am telling you think for your own good, if you don't like listening , then FUCK OFF."

( am going to seriously backstab him by telling my father not to get his sim card and hence render his phone useless.) ><

was on the train home and standing right in front of me was this blardy malay. he was like super spastic lorhz , listening to some music and shaking his body to the beat. and more repulsive of all , he was tearing off paper bits of his sweet wrapper and littering them all over the floor..... IN THE TRAIN ?!?!?!

FOR YOUR INFORMATION , this is public property and littering is a punishable crime in SINGAPORE... in case you dont know ? totally lacking in civic-mindedness . tarnished the already very bad impression i have of malays.

----- I AM NOT RACIST ---------

am so very bored today , nothing to do . maybe i should go and revise amaths , but dun have the drive to do anithing . might just end up sleeping again like the past two nights. terrible lifestyle i have , never ever copy mine , cos if youre the prince or royal kinda person , you will drop dead in a day or two.

trying to save money recently , thats why never follow chris and nick to orchard , J8 and places like that. sorry guys , not that i pang sei you all , but i really am short of cash. not as rich as you guys , yar... another one of my endless list of complaints , but am currently trying to save money so yar, hope you all understand.

anw , just in case you all were thinking that i have turned into a full-time mugger, no ... i havent. rather, im still the very slack person as you can see still having time to blog and stuff liddat . haha.. laughing at myself.

okaes larhz, i very sian liao , need to go bathe. cya tmr.

nigel

2004-07-13 - 5:55 p.m.
tuesday.

Not my favourite day of the week , and even more so with two tests , maths and history. arghz... hate the tests though, think im going to flunk my maths test again and for the history , not even sure whether i linked them properly , or whether the points were even valid in the first place. die... I am sure marks are going to start fluttering away. < such a positive image.. fluttering ... its a disguise versus reality theme explored here. thank you very much.>

haha... recently have been receiving so many comments from people asking whether I am ok , why I am looking so gloomy. Then i was like... "erms... I look sad and moody mehz?" haha... dun gettit though... somewhat funny when i heard it... perhaps its just this expression thats always on my face , either

1) I am bored beyond all boundaries

2) fubar-ed

3) Some family matters that arent going as smoothly and unknowingly, I am showing it .

4) O levels.

OKAES , (4) is definitely ruled out , cos for the Os right , I am just going do my best and not stress myself till eyes pop and veins burst. well, (1) is a very good possibility but i normally dun show boredom unless i have to , and thats only to TEACHERS.

yar ... so (2) is ridiculous, dun know why i typed that in the first place. yar... so you knoe why now? sorry , i cant tell anyone about this cos even some family members do not even know about it. yar... but i just hope that everything will go well larhz , praying every night and day. haha.. i guess only observant people will actually realise that there is actually something not quite right with me . Nevertheless , I am stil lok larhz, nothing dramatic just yet right? haha... still hanging on and not giving up , so don't worry about me , I am really fine.

Anw , went to sim to eat after school today and kian , weien , mong , clement , chaoqun and I were like sitting on one table , talking about which JC we wanted to go and stuff liddat. haha... i guess for sports ep3 rite , yer fellow team mates really have a lot of influence on which JC you intend to go lorhz, at least more than the non-sports ep3. for me ... its definitely HC cos of waterpolo and cos of Humanities programme. heard that kian now deciding between Rj and Hc cos of his track and clement is somewhat intent on Rj if a lot of us are going there. haha... so funny. aNd tHeN , the ostentatious masquerade commenced , with the every-pleasing quotes radiating throughout, proliferating with every second , eventually culminating in a most abrupt yet predictable conclusion of ensueing the latter. my mind blew and the pretense was now in my possession to abscond the (-_-)" countenance on my face. disgusted , i held my stand .

okaes, the verbosity above has been done deliberately to conceal the identity of the protagonist. nope , its not a prose, but very much like a comedy to me. you would understand if you were in my shoes.

okaes... the sky is turning dark now, raindrops will fall . and as time buzzes away , i realise that I am still the windchime afterall.

>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

only now, Fate is the puppeteer.

nigel.

2004-07-13 - 5:55 p.m.
correction : Va-va-voom.

2004-07-11 - 11:52 p.m.
chinese test isn't really the nice start to a week , but i guess it has already been like that for 3.5 years , whats another few more months?

yar , you get what i mean. O levels and stuff are just round the corner and everyone , of course THOSE highly rung up the GIFTED ladder ( decided to caps "gifted" cos i realised they are not so gifted afterall." , are all busily muggin , and muggin , and muggin. I guess its one of those times when you really stuff yourself with so much information that you might just burst the bubble. THE LIFE BUBBLE. Me? i wouldnt risk it.

father just got back from KL , at about 11 plus and now he is down with a fever or sth. haiz... poor him , obsession with his coins send him all zoinked.haha... dunnoe even know what im talking about.

ok , its going to be midnight soon and im still slacking round , refusing to slp . just finished studying chinese though. no-brainer subject , pure memory work. come on... a P1 student can do that. cant they come up with something more intellectual?< HAHA chinese lit... no no no> .

haiz.. slacked my way through the entire weekend. juniors came to my house on sat though.... haha... out of their minds manz... come all the way to tampines. and kep lives in b.batok lorhz.. willis in bishan. ?!?! crazy... say want to see how my house look like. haha... came over and played lf2. like... ermz... haha... super lame.

im bored bored bored. banality of life. but somehow i realised that

" time flies when you are having fun" is totally false. i did hw and 3 hours just flew past w/o me even knowing it. haha... must be sth wrong with the clock.

learnt a new word today :

Vi-va-voom. haha... its really an official english word lehz.. and its supposed to mean like vigor or sth liddat. haha... was laughing about it when my mum told me. "I have so much vi-va-voom in me ..." ROFL.

gtg slp now, or else it'll be puffy eyes , vile attitude and inert expressions again. and you wouldnt like it when i'm in that kinda state.

sweet dreams.

nigel

2004-07-09 - 11:18 p.m.
hey guys, its been a long long time since i last blogged. Guess is the mounting pressure and stess from the preparation of O levels , and of course busily trying to fix my blog.

There you have it , thanks to Brent , my salvation . haha... honestly rite, i am a HTML idiot. Its like mixing onion with chocolates. They just dont go together.

These few days have really been tired tired tired for me. Fell asleep in Bio twice and in Physics once. Don't know what's got into me , but thank god i still have The O.C to sustain me throughout. Really , this show has been keeping me up and standing and will continue to do so till the O levels. Everything about this show is just so cool , so mysterious , so unexpected , so excellent. And of course , to people who like the show , you would all agree with me that Merrisa is chio and so is sharapova. oops.. im going out of point , but who cares.

I realised that benjamin mckenzie used to act in some show called mercury rising or something , and he was the small boy then. Now he this adolescent with a jaded past and now given a new lease of life and experience. and of course , the last episode was one of the best episodes. Merrisa just rocked manz... if only in life , your loved one could really give you full support all the way despite being rejected TWICE. and i mean TWICE. haha... wish upon a star.

had physics and chinese tests this week ... not forgetting the english oral. haha... i guess the oral was quite ok for me larhz... and i certainly hope that i will do well for it. and to kian , i certainly will not gurantee you an A1 for your oral if you sit near me... cos I know myself well enough to be Anubis and not Isis. yar... you get what i mean. i only bring unluck ... so ppl stay far from me , im an epidemic. a most silent stalker.

haha, i guess by now some ppl are rather put off by my descriptions of myself ... perhaps I think too little of myself larhz, or perhaps its just the mood swings again . But I don't really show much right ? haha... yong liang kinda sensed something was not right with me . Thanks for asking kaes ... but honestly i am alright larhz, its just the occasional emotional jab that leaves a lasting impact and normally takes sometime to fade away.

Anw , tmr going for waterpolo. YEAH... i miss the polo ball so much , haha guess its the passion for it larhz, just like the track ppl always love running and the air rifle ppl and the softball ppl. haha... one thing about sports right , you have to have a passion for it. Without it , nothing can be achieved.

and for once :

I can no longer tolerate your pretense . the face behind the mask will be revealed some day. and from then on , you will no longer have friends , no longer have trust , no longer have loyalty.

highly rung up the gifted ladder?

an all-encompassing smile ?

Watch out , you might just fall.

nigel

2004-06-29 - 7:42 p.m.
ok . back to school and nth is ever different. NOTHING. except for MR LAM , another really blur but farnie teacher. haha... remembered the scene when he was staring at nick shaking his head... OMG... laughed till my head poped.

and then he was going like ... so for the precaution rite ... you all must write : " I DID THE UNLOADING TEST."

haha... he is not acting cute lorhz.. but rather that's the innocence and intelligence somewhat caught in the middle. OMG. also sent a series of tickles into my tummy. just couldnt stop laughing. okaes... at least i laughed yar?

then there was also lit. in which ms ng was in a I-AM-FUCKING-STRESSED mode and was like quite irritated or rather very irritated when we couldnt produce the answers. BUT REALLY, i who would ever think that its about love or for that matter a male persona talking to a female persona? haha.. i must be missing something here. die. better learn how to grasp the subject matter fast enough or else im not going to make it lorhz. haha... and smells of steaks... haha... i really need to do some soul-seaching in this literature aspect.

okaes... so today was kinda alrite larhz... erms... i guess the periods were all quite boring... and all this talk about the prelim english orals. ITS NEXT WEEK. OMG... time really flies lorhz... haiz... and my mentor is MRS NG. I WOULD CERTAINLY WISH THAT SHE WILL CARRY IT OUT PROFESSIONALLY AND NOT LET PERSONAL GRUDGES SET IN.( of which i knoe she might hate me and i might hate her , but still thats not the point. ) the point is ... ITS MY PRELIM MARKS HERE. yar... so ... erms... be fair and unbiased. but i guess i have no right to say anithing here rite?

darn.

okaes... im now here ... very bored... went to the library to return books and borrow two others... haha... found MAN and WIFE by tony parsons there lorhz... haha... couldnt believe my eyes again. okaes... going to start reading soon. haiz... three weeks time limit... hope can finish reading.

dun feel like typing already... and once again i would like to thank all my friends out there for having offered their encouragements to me , still gearing me on. thanks a lot guys... really appreciate it. read this cool poem today.

-------------------------------------

Humanity i love you

because you would rather black the boots of

success than enquire whose soul dangles from his

watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both

parties and because you

unflinchingly applaud all

songs containing the words country home and

mother when sung at the old howard

Humanity i love you because

when you're hard up you pawn your

intelligence to buy a drink and when

you're flush pride keeps

you from the pawn shops and

because you are continually committing

nuisances but more

especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you

are perpetually putting the secret of

life in your pants and forgetting

it's there and sitting down

on it

and because you are

forever making poems in the lap

of death Humanity

i hate you

e.e. cummings

--------------------------------------

2004-06-26 - 8:59 p.m.
dunknoe how to describe me present feelings now.

i dun knoe... reading other peoples' blogs have suddenly triggered off a flashback into my past 4 years here in chinese high. oh yar... i forgot to say this... btw... im here lamenting about my scrwed-wrong-way-up life and if you dun feel like listening... its fine. shoo...

4 years have passed so quickly ... really i mean so fast so furious yet so worth remembering. i have grown . a lot i must say. gone through lotsa ups and downs... and by downs... i really mean all the way down. but yar... i think its really terrible larhz... those sad periods of my life. haiz... i have done things that had hurt tons and tons of ppl , and as retribution i got recoiled ( haha... sounds like cs).

yar...but its true... you really do not want to make those v.v.v stupid decisions cos they often result in an ever-lasting scar. i must say in reality , nothing can restart anew again , not even relationships. haha... not being pessimistic here...but really once bitten twice shy is often brought to the emotional level...if you get what i mean.

once you have hurt someone before, its really impossible for the person to forget everything like its just a passing breeze. DUN BE SO NAIVE. oh , im scolding myself. haha... i once believed in turning a new leaf... but it has dawned on me that whilst you may be willing to turn over a new leaf... THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN ( haha , mel c). okaes... im going off senses again...but the point is... yar... to ppl reading this, dun do things purposely to hurt others, no matter wad... cos you might never knoe that often the scar left behind is eternal.

haha... to many people out there... to those reading this ... haha... this is your lucky day ... cos im gonna reveal one aspect of my life to you . haha... no larhz... im not that significant larhz.. .its just that maybe i have never done this before... and for the very first time ... im telling you ppl about ME. haha.

honestly , i am a serious serious thinker kinda person. you knoe those who think a lot alot ... but often burning my own fingers in the midst ( and by no means am i referring to gambling ). im a passive person that i admit. if you dun talk to me... i wont talk to you. really ... unless of course i want to say sth. these two things. i also quite insensitive one ( IM TRYING OKAES.) ... offended a lot of ppl liao. dun really have a lot a lot of frens that kinda person. JUST the classmate-relative-ep3-bound company.nth else. yar... so dun expect too much. i dun knoe... some ppl say im a very cold person , and its like better to stay far then go near a person like me. haha... really... i dun knoe larhz. im just thinking that perhaps if you would just talk to me... you wouldnt find me so bad. OR AM I REALLY THAT BAD ? i dun knoe... maybe im that bad. haha... self-fulfilling prophecy . dead.

and this is dedicated to me :

---------------------------------------

The sky is gray with hate

One thing tore us apart, your fate

Now what will you do?

Who will confide in you?

Remember the times we shared?

Remember how well we paired?

The consequences are tough

You only knew how to treat me rough

Who is next in line?

Will you, too, break their spine?

Look at what you've done

This time I will stand in front of you, I won't run

Don't bother me anymore

All you touch, you tore

What you wanted, you took

Now I glance back, I take one last look

You left me alone in your past

Forgotten friendships buried, never meant to last

---------------------------------------

i'd certainly hope that the last line isnt true.

nigel

2004-06-22 - 9:38 p.m.
no drive no motivation no will .

yarps. and thens about it for my entire holz. so its goodbye to O levels , and hello F9.

nigel

2004-06-14 - 10:33 p.m.
WOOHOO. today is perhaps one of the best days of my life manx. okaes... woke up like a pig ... droopy eyes and draggy legz and everything... yar... so wasnt a great start to this WONDERFUL morning...( sense the sarcasm here cos i do not like mornings...nor the f.heat )

okaes... so my father was like already awake and there was some stupid show in the morning... think it was wheel of fortune. stupid guy... keep spinning for the bankrupt. haha... and then in the end still win. wth... okaes.. thats outapoint. so i ate some korean noodles.. those packet type... woah... sibei spicy lorhz... i downed about 4 to 5 cups of water lorhz... eating that stupid noodles... stomach was more water than noodles. haha.

okaes... so then my mum woke up... and then the day like sorta dragged on and on and on... and finally at about 3 plus... mum suggested going to taka for shoppping ... lamenting that the day is so so so boring... so yar... i agreed and after sending my brother for tuition my father sent my mum and i to orchard. haha... then at taka rite... this really comical thing happened kaes . i was with my mum at taka... and then my mum as usual was clinging on to me with her arms around my hand ... haha... then we went to buy some food... then this stupid auntie said... " woah...ni men liang ge hen en ai horz... pa tuo hen jiu liao arhz? "...

woah liao... damn gao wei for me lorhz.. haha... but the funniest part was at how the auntie reacted when my mum cleared the misunderstanding , : "NO LARHZ... he is my son..." haha... the auntie's eyes were bigger than a goldfish's lorhz... haha.. ROFL literally manz.

okaes... but then i think that cos of that rite... my mom's mood became real good and bought lotsa stuff... there's this really cool deal at taka... bought a pair of reebok shoes and a yoga mat ( haha... abit ting dei .. but wth.. its free !!! ) for onli 100 bucks... haha... so farnie. the shoes were like supposed to cost 124 lorz... and the yoga mat was 34... ?!?!.. haha.. no wonder we were the last ones who managed to get the yoga mat... no more liao... TOO BAD >< haha.. okaes... shant be evil animore. so yar... mum bought two pairs of shoes for herself too. haha... was criticising them for her... but still my mom has taste manz... really looked good for her. haha.

okaes... then when we were on the way home... was contemplating on how to sneak it w/o father looking... cos youknoe my father is actually the most parsimonious miser i have ever seen on earth... haha... okaes... so nvm... just couldnt let him see the price of those shoes... cos he is definitely gonna take it out on mum... so yar... thank god he was in the room... so managed to sneak in... and quickly hide the shoes away... haha.. phew.

okaes... so thats about it... i still havent bathe ...OMG... so smelly... okaes... gtg liao. cya.

nigel ( V.happy)

2004-06-13 - 9:57 a.m.
OMG. yesterday was such a HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT day. the sun was practically beating me down with its rays lorhz... and to think i still went for training. haha.

okaes... woke up rather early to meet gab and evan for breakfast. haha... and i was like telling evan to make sure he isn't late .. .cos he is always late. so yar... i went there... PS:(was a little late myself)... haha... and guess what... EVAN WASNT THERE YET. stupid idiot. cannot stand him liao. it was like another 5 minutes later then he come ... and overall we were well late pass the meeting time but 15 min. urps.

okaes... so we had prata at 6th avenue and then headed for training at about 9.30... haha... seniors like us have the liberty to go anitime we want but sometimes the coach might just get pissed. but wth... we just made our way through ... haha... on the way back rite ... we saw one guy waving to us frantically... and i couldnt make up who the hell he was.. haha... thought it was diyang... cos he looked rather slim... though still slightly on the plump side. and then benji passed by us... and we were like ... OMG.... the guy was DIYAN!!!!! woah... he damn qiang lehzx... lose so much weight now... beyond recognition... haha... he was still as cool as ever... haha... but we were talking and then he was telling me he lost OVER 21 KG !?!?! woah... bao li.

okaes... so diyan and benji headed for bf whilst we headed for training... they would be going later... yar... so we went for training... and guess what ... the coach made us swim. luckily it was just leisure swim for us... as long as we catch up with the pack... so it was kinda slack larhz.

then we played polo. haha... i must say i really lao3 liao... cant even save the easy balls now. haiz... damn gek but then the funniest thing was went i really got pissed with my team during the game rite... my form kinda improved a little and managed to reach some of the balls. haha... but still that was onli for a short time.haiz...

okaes... then i went out with them for lunch and then orchard ... haha... we were super lame lorhz... walking around aimlessly... and then we saw this book in kino that showed lotsa obscene pics... omg... there was a blowjob scene... a self-m scene (for girls) ... what the hell... haha... MAYBE THIS IS ART ?!?! went to coffee bean to get my pure choc again... then went home. haiz... my face was practically burning by then... with rosy cheeks and everything... and then when i went home... the skin was like cracking already... SHIT.... dio sun burn liao... diez...

okaes... heard about hocl passing... haiz... was kinda sad after hearing it... but i guess what gab said was rite larhz... he kinda lost contact with us for so long... and i guess it was kinda expected larhz.. haiz... health is the best policy so far. that is undeniable.

okaes... i gtg entertain my cousins liao... stayed overnite at my house last night... so i gotta go play wif them liao. haha.. ciaoz.

nigel

2004-06-11 - 11:14 p.m.
hi guys... today i went to JB for a shopping spree. bought lotsa stuff manz... there was milk and yogurt and everything ... OKAES WAD THE HECK>.. I CANT CONTINUES ANIMORE COS OF he lao shi's passing.

sorry guys, guess i have gtg and sit down and just cool down.

bye.

2004-06-10 - 8:08 p.m.
haha. river dogs. thanks chris for noting the error. haha. silly me.

2004-06-10 - 7:02 p.m.
okaes. FINALLY diaryland decided to let me blog ... oh god... are there really so many ppl using diaryland ??? cant believe it manz...

okaes... its been rather long since i blogged... and those out there who would probably know why.

its just the exhaustion. really i cant take it animore. thank god that the holx are OFFICIALLY starting from TODAY. yeah... no more remedials... extra lessons... make-up lessons watsoever.... NO NOTHING. YES !!!

and for the past two days... its been kinda cool... cos firstly i was at physics cum bio lesson... and then it was like all damn boring... almost gonna fall asleep soon. afterwhich .. i followed nick and chris to have lunch at taka. haha... at some light stuff... yeah... finally got to eat my japanese mondayaki... delicious ... haha... highly reccomend the cheese one... its good kaes.. though its quite ex.:x

and then we went to buy some drinks... tried coffee bean's ice blended pure chocolate ... really nice and rich... but i was like struggling to finish it cos you cant go into kino with the drinks... so yar.. gulped the whole thing in and then went into kino. haha... saw this really cool book... think its the rain dogs or something... a collection of stories... haha.. the book had a really nice cover and chris agrees. haha... read one of the short stories there... entitled ONIONS. haha.. a very dialogue based story... but somewhat the author has effectively brought out the tension in it really well... but still an OK story onli.. nth fantastic.haha.

okaes... then after that... we lagged for really long and went home. omg.. wad a boring day huh ?

wad about today... haha... had the stupid ss/history test... the topics tested were kinda predictable i must say... thank god i studied the correct topics... and i managed to get through it smoothly... though i knoe mj din. haha... mj... its okaes larhz... im sure its just the cold getting to you. dun need to fret. haha... rest well kaes?

after the history test i got my previous test back... the sbq one... haha... 20 over 25. not bad larhz... happy with the results though i made a stupid error of not including the stupid CK of diplomacy in the third quesiton. damn... or else i would have scored better. shit.

but nvm... im still ok with it on a overall larhz... .

after it all... we went to bmt to have brunch. haha... ate wanton noodles there... v.nice. the noodles were really good ... not those kinda that would stick to each other... but rather the very tangy and chewy ones... those that i LIKE. haha... delicious yet again... and cheap.

was sitting with kian and melvin they all.. haha... talking about sports ep3 stuff and everything ... AND WE MADE A SHOCKING DISCOVERY :

Raffles has been winning lots of sports. OMG>>>>> waterpolo b boys , air rifle c boys , softball... table tennis. OMG. shit... and then studies wise... they are usually better than us . WHICH means... that this year... WE HAVE GOTTA WORK EXTRA HARD for our studies to retain as FIRST. shit manz... this is bad bad bad. so come on TCHS SEC 4s... lets show them what we've got yar? haha... im sure we will make it... no matter wad.

after the brunch , we headed separate ways... weida, me , kian , jirong, daryl , weien , melvin and koon headed for pool at beauty world, whilst chris, nick and the rest went to orchard. haha... actually wanted to follow chris and nick... but was thinkin that since i have already watched all the movies that can be watched , it would be v.boring... so i went for pool instead. and OMG... koon and weien sibei , supper, chaoji tyco LORHZ. wad the ... weida and me watch until damn gek. haha... totally couldnt believe our eyes lorhz... wad the .... okaes... nvm... shall trash you guys next time round...hehe :)

and then i went home with jirong. haha... boring trip back manz... was reading my lovely bones on the way... and thank god i had that book. was really thrilling... the part when lindsay went into the murderer's house to get evidence. woah... so exciting... haha... close shave manz.

so now i am at home stoning... going to have dinner after this. and going to JB tmr... shopping shopping shopping.. yeah... happy happy happy. and shit i missed WORLD IDOL yesterday. damn. stupid test.

okaes...

gtg,

nigel

2004-06-07 - 6:15 p.m.
hiya. okaes... 3 movies in 3 days.

thats my personal record for a movie marathon. haha... shrek... harry potter... just caught the day after tmr today. was was really a nice show to watch...if not for the stupid ending... EARTH covered in ice? perpetually? i dun think so.

and even if it happens... im sure the ice will melt? stupid stupid stupid. more dramatic ending can? or at least a proper resolution. haha...

but overall... i still loved the show. cos of the beautiful effects... and how close it is actually to heart. tornadoes were really cool manz... if onli they had combined.-evil grin-.

oh yar... and did i tell you that ironically it was kinda cold in the theatre when the ice suddenly started forming in the show with the core and everything ... haha... my legs were shivering lehz... maybe its just me... dunno.

but then still i loved the show. better than harry potter and better than shrek. haha... beautiful ending to my movie marathon.

haha.. chris... saw you covering your ears when the wolves came out... haha... they dun matter one larhz... and further more... we are humans... rmb? wasnt a bit scary at all... maybe a little... haha... but its still alrite . hahah stay cool.

and to everyone else there... thanks for being such a great company today. mj , da, cq , nick ,chris . haha... and btw... this is a MARVELLOUS CODE FROM A BOOK entitled Lovely Bones.

" They formed the superior, if somewhat socially crippled , highest rung of the gifted ladder"

and this isnt directed to anyone in particular. no offence guys... just felt that it was relevant. of course not to me dumbheads... to other ppl i knoe :)

okaes... thats about it for me today.

cya round .

nigel

2004-06-06 - 9:39 p.m.
heya guys. okaes... guess what... two movies in two days. kinda cool huh. but yeah.. had to satisfy my craving for movies... since its like the holz... yar..like duhz...

okaes.. so yesterday went to watch Shrek 2 with my polo juniors. it was kinda corny show... with LOTS and LOAds of parodies...like Terminator... Prince Charles... haha... so farnie... and yeah ms ng... it was totally hilarious... ratings

???

3.5 out of 5.

after which i went to stone at stupid KFC for who knoes how long... and then went home ... continued stoning... and went to bed. boring rite? yeah... for me life is spelt with 6 letters.

so today ... went to catch Hp with my mum and bro... haha... overall... i thought it was kinda let down... cos yeah... maybe perhaps the previous two shows have been so much more thrilling with a really high climax and cool resolution. but for this... maybe i just dun get it... it was yeah... much darker and stuff... with of course... harry , hermione and ron now adolescents... and perhaps... much closer to heart... but overall the story din really hit me much. almost fell asleep at the last part. but still.. its my opinion. you can beg to differ... but i wouldnt give a shit. this is my blog , mind you.

okaes... now... i am converting my inner bored and sick-of-this-life feeling into a tearing roar for salvation. yes... by tearing roar i mean anger and frustration ... i just dun knoe... this week has been such an unproductive and one of the lowest peaks of my life. hw done - 0. yeahz... its really getting suckier by the minute. and whenever i think about it... it just keeps getting worse.

and btw... theres an amath diagnostic test tmr... and i havent even revised for it yet. my mind is in a swirl... cant really think properly rite now. so yeah... i will just go to sleep and try to forget everything yeah.. and perhaps start a new week ahead.

isnt today THE new week?

nigel

2004-06-04 - 5:51 p.m.
okaes okaes. today was kinda OK for me. just OK , nothing spectacular or wadsoever. haha.

the lit test in the morning was ok larhz... after all that studying , i think it paid off cos i did the essay question which seemed easier than the passage based one . and the prose passage , kinda direct ... so yar... hopefully i will get satisfactory results and not a low b3 again. haiz... this term lit b3 lehz... so sad liao... cannot must buck up!

and then after that , went for lit lesson . lessons were interminable and my head was so heavy , it almost felt on to the table . haha... and woah... boon kiat... man of the day arhz... quote Ms Ng , :" today boon kiat is in top form !! " ... haha... giving all the correct answers... haha... great manz... at the very least , our class is still the best comparing to the other lit classes. haha. bLEAghZ.

and so after that , met up with kian , weida and weien they all , had lunch at coronation before chris and nick left , whilst i followed kian , weida , weien , daryl , jirong and melvin seng for pool . haha ... the pool at beauty world so CHEAP !!! omg... and to think we paid ten over dollars that last time we went ( thx to some ppl :)... haha ... you get wad i mean?) . i paid onli about 1.80 for the 1.5 hours i was there. haha... kinda sucked in it. okaes...its mi second time playing... i admit... so yar... you probably knoe where my pool skills are gonna get huh? dun laugh wei en... gou4 liao ... give me so much pressure ... haha... no larhz... j.jk. :) feeling cheeky today.

haha... and kian kept hitting the black ball in lorhz... so farnie... i dun think he was in top form today... kinda suay ... haha... and weida ... omg.... first time playing ... and i think 75% winning streak lorhz... haha... damn farnie... was laughin and laughin... cannot take it. oh yar... and kian... if you really wanna knoe what i said rite... you go ask weida or me larhz... i promise i will tell.

sorri for keeping you in the dark throughout today... sorri ... haha... felt rather guilty :x

and then after the game ... went home ... with jirong.. and started reading my lovely bones. haha... its really a nice book i must say... very relaxing to read... not tedious or wadsoever ...not superfluous either.. .just simple and sweet.

perhaps... these are my kinda books.

my genre.

so yar... here i am ... wasting my time away again... after completing 0% of my hw. haha... COOL huh? and i think i am just gonna flunk the amaths and emaths diagnostic test... and ss... forget about it. im getting a migraine again. ARGHZ.

okaes... gtg now... those watching HP and the day after tmr... PLEASE INFORM ME VIA SMS OR MSN kaes???? okaes... cya...

nigel (-_-)"

2004-06-03 - 3:32 p.m.
back back back.

back to Singapore... this wretched place i call home... and yet again the ironic comfy feeling of my bed , pillows , blankie , bolster... and of course... my friends... haha.... okaes shucks im sounding mushy. dun mind me yar?

okok... so heres the story from

a to z.

im telling you the trip is really the one of those few malaysian trips which i really really enjoy. firstly ... i went with 6 of my cousins... okaes... and then there was my really loving father who decided to give me 160 RM to go shop... and then there were my really adorable cousins shaun and deon. haha... fat pigs... eat so much... but still my fav cousins... cute and obedient... haha... okaes... wait... let me introduce...

in rank of age :

1) ME |if you dun mind...|

2) Jojo tan ( few mths younger than me)

3) Sharlene tan ( 2 years younger)

4) Eden tay( my bro...)

5) Deon Tan ( my cute cousin)

6) Shaun Tan ( sharlene's bro ... haha)

7) Bryce Tan( deon's bro)

so thats about it... but really ... we had loads of fun. and i literally mean LOADS.

okaes... this outdoor theme park which i already told some ppl about. its really cool to have the entire theme park to your own. okaes... so my mum decided to save up on the tickets and buy the evening ones... but manz... that was the best decision my mum has /will ever make... haha... we went into the theme park at about 6 pm... and guess wad... not a single soul was there. it was just seven of us... and thats it... haha... rocks... and all the rides were still open. okaes... so i took the roller coaster 5 times... space shot 5 times... cyclone 5 times... spinner 3 times... and wait... guess thats about it... haha.. no queue no nth... just us . us . us.

totally rawks.

oh yar... the space shot thingy rite... it was so witty of the people there to place a timer.. yar... WAD A JOKE HUH ?! ... imagine this...

you seat on this round circular pad thing... with very secure seat belts and then suddenly you start rising slowly up till about 20 stories high where the clouds are beneath your feet and you dun see the ground. and whilst you are at the top admiring the beautiful scenery ( actually no one does that... everyone is just freaking out... waiting for the drop)... the timer goes off...

5 ..... 4...... 3.....

and even before you reach 2 ... you DROP!... and i really mean 5,4,3 DROP!

so kewl huh... and whilst thats not enough... you drop 20 stories down... with yer ass out of yer seat... screaming... but no air goes into yer lungs... and you just feel like your blood vessels are gonna burst. cool feeling ? NO. no no ... im telling ya... after i got cheated the first time round... the shock was like so great for me... tears starting flowing out... haha... maybe perhaps ive got this slight fear of heights... haha... but then yet again... it was really cool... the suspense of it all... luved it.

and then we went to this really cool ride called the cork screw... haha... its actually a roller coaster ride... which sends you through a series of spirals and upsidedown curves... kinda cool... especially with the chilly wind blowing into yer face. ROCKS. the feeling was just indescribable.

okaes... and then my cousins actually went to watch Annie the next day. ( for those who dunnow whats annie... it just a musical which costs 32 rm for children and 102 rm for adults.) okaes... yarp... my jaw dropped too... but wad to do ... i was considered an adult and my parents just felt that it was so ridiculous... the blardy price difference... and because my two other cousins jo and sharlene were short... they could just pretend they were kids and went in to catch the musical. and so i din get to watch it ... but then guess wad... my father gave me 160 rM to go shopping... cool huh ? haha... so yar... i went around shopping for 1.5 hours... bought two giordano tees... avril's under my skin cd ... 3 keychains ( nick and chris ... hope you like them ) and a reebok bag. the bag was kinda cheap. okaes... its really cheap. in sg dollars... onli about 25 bucks. haha... okaes... i hear curses and swears now... haha... if onli you guys were there.

yeah... so thats about the entire trip... 5 days 4 nights.... not one moment i felt dreary... it was just event after event after event. had helluva time there manz... and to my cousins... luv all of ya all... you really made my day...

and now i sign of with avril's my happy ending... for me its really a happy ending but not for avril haha... okaes... im laming already... but wad the heck... the lyrics...

You were everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

and dun think im becoming depressed or wad... im still fine yar? thanks tze yi...for asking so much... and sorry for scaring you today... haha... weida hope yer backache quickly recover k?

haha.. okaes... thats about it... cya.

nigel :)

ps: im happy ... see...

2004-05-28 - 7:34 p.m.
i feel cheated by you mrs kee...

which is why i am turning vindictive , vicious and malicious.

watch me. i will do things you never thought i will and your life is never gonna be the same again.

this is onli the beginning.

(-_-)"

2004-05-28 - 6:08 p.m.
okaes... today was really really boring... though the day started off really well. went to the board room to have lit lesson. kinda comfy.. but still i was in high spirits.. not feeling much yet.

then ... had the ss test. was kinda manageable i guess... the sources were relatively direct ...a so i think i wouldnt fail. HOPE?

then ... got back my stupid term progress report. wad the ... was really disappointed in myself for attaining the lowest for amaths... c6. rocks huh? in the end my msg was a pathetic 2.222222... really bad.thanks to my amaths... haha... okaes... im delirious. gonna start working hard soon... have been slacking and fooling around for the past half a year... so in the june holz... gonna really sit down and start mugging... and go into O level mode. of course not the extent of burning out... but at least start revision i hope. Oh god... please dun let temptations take over me.

okaes... then on the way back... seeing that it was still early i decided to go to the library. went to the adult fiction section and found a really good book entitled Disturbance by janice O'niel if i rmb correctly. was really a good book and wanted to borrow it... BUT... i forgot to bring my library card... and in the end had to go home empty handed... wtf... damn pissed with myself.

okaes... my mind is swirlin in circles now... not really thinking in the right state of mind. feeling a migraine coming up. so gtg bathe liao.

sick and shagged ,

nigel (><)

2004-05-27 - 9:18 p.m.
to clement. forgiven.

to mong.. im trying.

to kian . ure really kinda cool fren to be with. dunthink toomuch... cos once you start... things just start to accumulate.. and soon you will realise your head's like a bee hive. haha... loaded not with honey... but with troubles of the heart. lols. okaes.. disgusting analogy.

to weida. haha.. today kinda rocked. especially during bball... must say i really sucked in it after not having played the game for like ... erms... 6 mths?... haha.. yar... so just bear with me. but still ure a great fren... rawk on dude.

to yongliang . im not angry with you at all... sometimes rite... you dun have to mind others opinions of you that much. just live yer life with dignity , with chivalry ... with pride. yeap.. thats all i gotta say. and btw.. 4a ppl... i amnot ANGRY With anione in particular. everything's over... and i dun want to rake up the past ... cos its HISTORY.(and dun remind me of chansh...)

to koon. thanks for being frank. kinda fun guy to be with too... act sei during bball... haha... but wad can i say ? youre still a fren and part of 4A... so yeah... once a fren... always a fren.

to chris... jasmine will come back... and go get her album kaes? haha... yeah... one of my best frens... honest...frank(HINTS **** )... great to be with... okaes... but then i must say we have gone through a lot to be where we are at now... yar... so i treasure this friendship a lot... hope you do so too... haha..

to nick... another one of my really great pals... haha... kinda wonky at times... but then yet again... a true blue fren... always there for us... and yeah... sometimes yer actions are really comical... v.understanding person... and also one with character. rawk on.

to everyone else... its time to start mugging guys... hope you guys really realise it... but then b4 that... DUN overwork.. and BURN OUT.... like some already are... yar... sometimes... youreally gotta just stand by your window...look out into the sky... and take a long breath... it kinda works for me... a total sense of relief( especially after a violent fight with my sickening bro).... yar... try that... it might work for you too.

haha... okaes... this entry kinda serves as one of those times when i really sit down and reflect on things... and my thoughts kinda get really swirly.. yar... it may be wrong.. maybe true.. but wad the heck... ITS MY BLOG. i write WAD I WANT TO SAY. DUN LIKE IT ?! SCRAM.

nigel(-_-)"

2004-05-26 - 7:26 p.m.
im really disappointed in you. i trusted you as a friend. telling you the truth of wad happened and already pleadin you to keep it to yourself. but ... now ?!?!?!?

i have misplaced my trust.

it will never happen again.

ps: never telling you anithing ever again. im not angry. im just dejected.

nigel

2004-05-26 - 6:46 p.m.
to kian ... i guess it was really hard for us to0 when we actually discovered that one of our best buddies had changed so much . regardless to say , we were angry , disappointed, sad , dejected... but most importantly , shocked. people change very quickly, and i have gotta say , especially so when the exams are nearing , where you see ppl finally showing their true colours : slack ppl starting to pia , others lying ... i dun knoe... its just really sad sometimes when you just open your eyes really wide , onli to receive such a disgusting picture painted in front of you , the ugly side of things. yeah ,,, and kian ... i have gotta say you are really a very kind person , one who would forgive and forget... but then let's put it this way ... when ppl do not wish to change.. and they just continue to yi cuo zai cuo... its really just very difficult for us to patch up. and worse things still , when he doesnt know it. haha.. .okaes, shant dwell on such things animore , very depressing... i tink onli time will tell.

and to chao qun , sorri for embarrassing you that day... but i really din expect you to react so "violently" .. haha... blushing all over. then it must be true larhz?!?!... haha... gotcha..

okaes... AI3 finals tonite... DIANA ! DIANA! ... yeah... must watch... other things... secondary...

okaes... stay cool guys... rock on.

mong... come clear with us... its no use just saying who bit you and something like that... we AINT dogs... we are human beings... so OPEN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH...

its not made of gold.

nigel

2004-05-25 - 7:06 p.m.
today is summed up in one word :

BORING.

nothing else to say... so tired today. just dun knoe why... after so much of drilling... and the teachers all going into O LEVEL mode... omg... wondering how in the hell im going to pass the O level period. Oh god. deliverance.

nigel

2004-05-24 - 8:19 p.m.
hi guys. yeahs. im so happy today. totally din study for my ss test , which everyone thought was today, cos was suffering from the aftermath of th 5am to 7 am sleep...and there wasnt a SS TEST. okaes... for once mrs chan did sth rite... haha. .. let me tell you sth :

woke up at 7 am in the morning...after onli sleeping for onli two hours and then chiong out with nic and chris... to have an early breakfast and then took mrt home. was so freaking dazed throughout the whole way . then i reached tampines prob about 8.50 ...close to nine and decided to walk home. BAD DECISION. was totally zonked out... and i wasnt in a clear state of mind. haha... was walking and walking and walking...until....... HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!

OMG>>> i was walking in the middle of the road when it was red light... and i almost got myself knocked down. haha.. tired of living... as in literally... haha... thank god it wasnt my time yet... and god decided to give me this chance. okaes... that's one of my last lives taken... realli... when i realised i was the onli one on the road... and i turned to look at the driver who was honking furiously... i had a shock of my life... stunned for a few seconds not knowing wad to do ... then ran back onto the streets... haha... PHEW. close shave manz... haha... the driver was giving me this look like... you want to die also dun have to lian lei me rite?... haha... wadeva...

okaes. that was realli scary and i had better make sure that it doesnt happen again... might not be that lucky next time... CHOY!.. NO MORE NEXT TIMES.

okaes. bought a nice classic after having lunch at J8 with chris , nick , and jteh today. for onli about 5 bucks. damn cheap. think that title is Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. liked the theme of it all... and the way she writes. very interesting. very british. very nice. think chris bought jane eyre. nice bk too. saw wuthering heights and the rainbow too... so many classics... all 5 bucks onli... haha... was caught in this classic frenzy..not knowing which book to buy... but finally decided on Northanger Abbey. great choice. happy with it.

okaes... i am now going to attempt my BIO ws. which i think most likely gonna give up halfway again. haha...

thanks brent. luv ya lots for helping me with my blog over and over and over again. realli... youre a great friend.. and have always been for the past 4 years... realli ...appreciated yer help ... thanks again.

gotta run now ... cya guys...

nigel

2004-05-23 - 9:28 a.m.
heya guys... i just got back home for lc's house... woke up so early ... so tired.... slept for onli about two hours last nite... was talking so much stuff... clearing up lots of things... putting together the pieces to the jigsaw puzzle and whatnots... so much talk-cocking... damn lame... but underlying factor... FUN. F- U - N... and i really gotta know koon better as a person. and others too... haha... weida ... weien.. kian...daryl...haha...lotsa others...and of course not forgetting nick and chris and gab. haha.... it was really kinda fun. we actually talked from 11 to 5 in the morning !?!?! ... so meng ... but fun... from class politics to ghost stories... haha... realli nice. unforgettable.

okaes. now i finally got lots of stuff cleared already... as in i now know whats going on. i really do. perhaps ive been this stupid dumbhead who had been kept in the dark for 2 long years. but thanks for clearing everything up. i know its hard for both of us to like thrash everything up , cos things are just so complicated. but what the heck.. we did thrash everyting out... and now i feel better now... more relaxed...more at ease..

and to the person who has been behind all that... im really disappointed. I dun know whether you had an ulterior motive or wadsoever... but realli .... i hope that one day you will be frank.. then in that sense we would still be able to be friends.

very tired now... eyes barely opening... omg... yar... so i prob going to go bathe... and then go to bed. but then i think last nite was really fun and cool. and OF COURSE... Man u won 3-0... the FA cup... so lame... expected huh?

okaes... now... im just going to sleep... very very exhausted after all that talking in the nite. haha... okaes... i really gtg liao. and thanks to all of you who were there... being frank and stuff like that ...i was really appreciative of it... chris nick koon kian weida weien daryl gab and mingjie... of course LC for his extremely humid and hot accomodation... haha.. no larhz... it was just realli v.hot for me... maybe im spoilt ...but what the heck. and yar LC ... GO CHANGE YER FAN. its VIRTUALLY inexistant. haha... and yer light bulb. so farnie...

okaes. luv ya guys. gtg now.

4A unite.

nigel

2004-05-22 - 10:29 p.m.
hey guys. at a friends house now... haha... one of my first stay outs over two years... quite fun larhz... sort of like our last class gathering before we start mugging for our o levels... and everyone is like trying to have lots of fun here... haha...

okaes... btw... went to watch troy today. it was great actually. onli that there were lots of factual errors in it. like Archilles certainly did not fall in love with a Trojan princess... and that HE did not die because of the arrow in his heel. haha... but then still was quite nice to watch larhz... Helen of Troy was rather chio i must say... but then... Paris aka Orlando Bloom was portrayed as a very pathetic dickhead in the movie... fancy going down to your fours in a battle and begging your brother to help you... so afraid to die... OMG... it was so detrimental to his image as a heart throb ...honestly...

but then ... i knew some people certainly loved all the EYE CANDY presented in the movie... i think that there is something really wrong with some people's perspective in life. haha... was talking to kian about lots of things... and he was rather freaked out. but then yet again i tried to assure him that nothing WEIRD is gonna happen... cos after all... that person is more concerned with results than getting a BOYFRIEND rite? ... yucks... disgusted at wat i just said. ok... ignore me.

On the way to lc's house... went to this 7-11 shop to try to buy some alcohol drinks. really farnie... after choosing some of the realli nice flavours to try... we were onli disappointed by the freaking cashier who did not allow us to buy it... insisting that we showed some forms identification to make sure we were 18. haha... had to put back the drinks and adjourn to NTUC to try our luck there. haha... it was really scary lorhz... the stupid INDIAN cashier was giving us this glare that was really scary and intimidating... like doubting us or someting... really scared us out of our wits ...koon ann and me. but then .. we still managed to safely make through. THANK GOD MANZ. i was really scared that we would be caught on tape... then we will really BE sCrEwEd manz...

okaes... now i am at LC house... watching the FA cup final... with all the guys screaming here and there.. cheering for the various teams that they support. kinda sian right now...but what the heck... such opportunities onli come once in a blue fun. dun intend to have much sleep tonight... probably gonna have fun the whole night through. OKAES>>. thats prob about it. gonna go watch the show now... have fun...

cheers.

nigel

2004-05-22 - 11:10 a.m.
ok. i have tried my best to contain my feelings for as long as possible.

but , now ... it seems that i cant any longer. i have tried to ignore it , give no notice to it... but i just cant. Sensing it, makes me feel pissed , apologetic , angry , sad , bitter , green-eyed... but maybe , perhaps its my fault. MY F.FAULT.

FEELINGS of always being left-out , not included , of always going unnoticed, and the bitterness of it all .. somewhat jaded my outlook to life. really ... that kinda feeling .. is like im the peanut butter.. which NO ONE spreads on their bread. INSIGNIFICANT.

sparrows pecking on a llama's grain , even animals are concerned with other animals. me ? me ? me ?

perhaps , an emotional scar can really never be erased. COS' someting done CANNOT be undone . that , i have finally come to realise. and the truth of it all.. really hurts. piercing. acutely painful.

im now stuck in no man's land , no one asks me out for shopping trips , or lunch or dinner , or just a get together. rather its gotta be me doing that... and i feel extra doing that... and when i ask ... response i get is always so unwilling... so unclear... so confusing... am i really a pain in the ass to be with ? just tell mein the face and i will make myself scarce. you dun have to make one round to touch yer damn nose. just get straight to the point. i rather it this way .. then me having to suffer under your ignorance. but then yet again.. its my fault rite? MY FREAKING DAMN FAULT. MINE. ALL MINE.

AND SO I SHOULD BE PUNISHED. god . come take me.

i had had enough . ITS time for it to end. time.

nigel^________^ _____

2004-05-21 - 8:29 p.m.
today was kinda alrite for me. other than of course the chinese test which i officially have flunked.. and proud of it...cos i din study. so prepares to get niao-ed by tansc for lousy marks. HECK!

okaes. today there was this Combined Lit Syposium kinda thing held by tchs. haha... it was really good actually ... sort of like a practice for me and my team , to analyse unseen poems ... and prose for other groups. My group was assigned this really nice poem , The Woman at The Washington Zoo by Randall Jarrel... about this female persona living in a world all by her own, often going unoticed by peers and she sorts of contrasts it with animals in cages in the Washington zoo. haha... very interesting perspective, and very fun trying to analyse it. In the poem , there was also this outcry by the speaker , to break free from the banalities of life , to some all-seeing guy ... calling for salvation and deliverance.

"Oh, bars of my own body, open, open! You know what I was,

You see what I am: change me, change me!"

Loved this particular section of it. haha... was really fun interpreting this poem , and the girls in my team , natasha , desiree and shucks .. forgot the nygh girl's name ,, okaes... yar... had lots of fun . but also learnt a lot from each other. They were really good with their pronunciation and language , and i learnt quite a lot from these girls .

okaes... so we had to complete our analysis like in 2 hours ... and everything was so hurried and we were like frantically trying get it finished by the time quota. almost screaming... and i my usual self was scratching my head and pulling my hair... and whatnots... haha... the girls were also losing their composure ... thank god we managed to complete it on time. great experience working with them.

so after it , went for a ten minute dip in the pool... haha... cos it was like already 5.30 when i went for training... and i just went in to play come polo . quite fun though . met up with my jnrs who just came back from aussie too... and took lots of their nougats. haha... the chocolate one tasted okaes... the cuppacino one was quite good.haha.

okaes... so thats about it today larhz. looking forward to tmr's TROY... sort of some class outing... haha... at last some sense of relief from the BORING AND MUNDANE AND ROUTINE LIFESTYLE OF MINE. LIke the female persona , bars of my own body ... OPEN ! OPEN! OPEN!... a desperate outcry of deliverance.

nigel

2004-05-19 - 8:14 p.m.
okaes , by popular demand , i have finally decided to make the break through and prevent my blog from stoning any further or else , its just gonna die off, and all that effort .......... DOwn down down the drain. haha.

okaes. for all those out that who really wanted to know how the taman trip was like. here goes. im sure its gonna pale in comparison to the Perth one larhz. but just bear with it yar ? its $300 to $1500 ... yar... you get what i mean.

day ONE ---> everyone gathered at school to meet at about 7 pm... and then we all ate at that most sickening , disgusting , lc poolside CAFE ( i wouldnt call it a cafe ... more like a stall.) . i din eat of course , cos gab me and kwek already did so at yoshinoya , so we were like just stoning there , with that bunch of i thought wouldnt be fun ppl: minhan , yauchuen , weijian . yeaps. so it was quite boring la.. and soon enough we boarded the freaking coach and then sped off towards tuas, for a switch of coaches b4 heading straight for TAMAN.

haha... the trip there was rather shaky and rocky for me , din like it at all, couldnt catch much sleep in the night , and at about 4.30 in the morning , we had PRATA?!?!?.. haha... yarz... so it was not my cup of tea. and then we reached the jetty at about 6.30. the stupid boats had to keep us waiting for like ... two hours? at around 8 then they arrived. and then IT Began to drizzle. i hated the rain. especially when all of us are like tugging along those heavy luggages . it was really so OBS and KOTA TINGGI and whatnots. really felt like just giving my middle finger, board another bus back to singapore. yeaps, i was THAT pissed.only ppl din notice. ppl never notice.

okaes, then the boat ride RAWKED. its really quite ironical you know , when you expect everything to be really screwed and haywire, something good comes yer way. haha... the balance of the universe? perhaps. but then the 3 hour long boat ride was really good , with the wind blowing into our face all the way through , and skidding into the dense forestry, for once i was really getting close to someting called : nature.

and on the boat ride , we were actually like playing bridge and stuff like that. haha gab and i actually learnt how to play bridge on that boat ride , so at the very least we made good use of that time . along the way saw some wild water buffaloes and orang aslis haha... it all seemed really nice then.

something really bad happened to mingseng on the boat ride. okaes, i would leave it just there for you guys to go ask him if you all wanna,but then yet again , please make sure you dun like probe in further if he doesnt want to say . its really quite embarrassing for him , especially when its like the first day of camp.

okaes. so we reach taman . and then the resort realli looked like one , with all those small malay cottages , and resort houses, thought we were lodging in one of those. NOooooooo.....

we were sleeping in hostels , which prob costs 8 rm a nite. haha... and it had air con. shocked*. totally could not believe it. haha... 8 ppl shared on room . so it was perfect for the whole 4A clan there. so we just bombarded our way through , and became kings of the world. haha... im rambling ... sorry ms ng.

okaes, then we went for our first hike into the forest. was already quite tiring... and kwek got his first leech on the leg. and then the leech fest begun. they were coming in fast and furious manz... every half an hour someone was bound to get one leech or even two at one time... ahah... and guessed who was our saviour --> DI JUN WEI... haha... he was theonly one to bring a whole packet of salt there... so whenever we had leeches... it was like DI JUN WEI ..... haha... kinda comical. but fun. we were rewarded with a "PANAROMIC VIEW" ... which wasnt so panaromic after all... haha... wasnt worth the tiring hike up at all... though i took a few pics.

then we went back... slacked for three hours...playing cards...sleeping...bathing... and then went for the nite hike. haha... the nite hike was really fun and scary manz... the forest was totally pitch black and i finally knew what raising yer hands and not being able to see yer fingers really mean. was creepy manz... and there were so many kinds of animal sounds... was like damn freaked out if a tiger were to pounce out from nowhere. and then....

gabriel got the leeches... one on his neck and the other at the his tummy. haha... he was kinda irked out... but i guessed it wasnt really painful larhz... just disgusting.

the next day was really cool . we went for the most TIRING HIKE I HAVE EVER GONE ON To in my life . was totally drained out after it... and the freaking climb up was so steep and it was just... yuck. and then there was the descent. time for ppl to start falling and falling.... and falling... and even more falling... haha... was really slippery. so it was inevitable.

and then the swim in the waterfall. OMG>.. that was the highlight of the trip manz... the waterfalls were so beautiful and the water was like so clean and cooling. with tanic acid, whatever that was... haha... was really refreshing and relaxed after it. and relly enjoyed myself too... had to rescue min han too ... from letting the current send him down the stream into the rocks... haha... he somemore act sei lorhz... think he can remain safe with that life vest. ya rite. was rather comical the whole scene. even the guide was laughing... MINg han... minghan...

then we went back and had a marvellous sleep.

next day was also great. it was just hike... swim.... souvenir buying... and thats it. everyhign was going so quickly. we din even realise it was already the last day. haha.. dreading the coming tests and hw... haiz... but what to do... its life huh?

okaes... so that was my trip in a hUGE nutshell... yar... rather interminable yar? ... but to me at least i sorta enjoyed in larhz... no stress nth... just plain relaxation and enjoyment. thanks yau chuen and ming seng too.. gotta know them better. haha... okaes. thats bout it.

nigel's back in the bloggin business guys... haha... im being lame again. okaes. adious.

nigel

2004-05-02 - 3:54 p.m.
what can i say.

Action speaks LOUDER than words.

i bet everyone knows that.

the meaning is crystal.

and so is our agenda.

apologies come with sincerity.

sincerity comes with initiative

initiative comes with action.

theres no use standing there and not do anything about it. you are just going to make yerself feel bitter.

honestly , i can tell you this :

a lot of ppl are detestin you now.

they are almost comparing you to the same league as Mr Fart-and-Belch.

perhaps. perhaps.

deep down in me , i sense a change, a volte-face. its blardy disgustin , and it irks everyone, even to us.

im feeling disappointed.

he is feeling dejected.

the other ,,, his tempers are flaring.

you'd better start changing. though now i knoe , it may already be too late to make amends. the scar has been too deep.

BUT , i would still wis